idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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