i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
