My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
