she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
