i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize