Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I am mentally ready for anal.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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