I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
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Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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