Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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