Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
