All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
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