If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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