How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
