I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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