oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
All I want is dick and wine.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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