tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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