She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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