I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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