i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
