Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
