..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
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