Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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