Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
