Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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