we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
