let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Pants are for mortals
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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