no. you can't hotbox the world.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
