At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
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He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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