today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize