That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
