She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
