I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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