So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
