he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
