I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
