Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
