I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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