I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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