you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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