I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
