I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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