i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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