so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
