i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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