you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
