I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
