She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
