as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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