you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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