8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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