I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize