So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
