upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
