I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
