Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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