i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
