Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
