The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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