oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
