omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
